please sir, may i have s’more?

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i mean, we all know my camping capabilities are less than up to snuff.

(lest i remind you?)

but just because mother nature and i can’t seem to see eye to eye these days, that doesn’t mean i can’t contribute in some capacity should someone (ahem, boyfriend?) care to take me on a redemption camping trip (this time to the MOUNTAINS where i do believe my body would thrive rather that the desert where it anti-thrived) in the near future. for one, i am an excellent water bottle carrier, which is obviously an asset to any camping group as it is always very important that all parties stay well-hydrated, especially during times of additional physical exertion. but perhaps even more contributory of me, is my mean skills at s’mores assembly (slash s’mores devouring). yes, folks, i don’t want to toot my own horn or anything, but i’m a regular s’mores savant. i have logged many many years of perfecting my craft and if necessary, can even provide my own skewers fashioned from wire coat hangers (i know, i don’t know how i stayed single for so long, either). show me a campfire, a bag of marshmallows, some hershey’s chocolate bars and a box of graham crackers, and i’ll show you a good time (what?).

and while we didn’t exactly pitch a tent this weekend and take in some constellations in the nearest mountain range, i did in fact have the opportunity to put these s’mores skills to practice -during our most recent date night to The Duck Dive in pacific beach. y’all, eating here on saturday was the closest i’ve felt to “hip” in a long time. it was a SCENE. but a scene with some really really delicious food, awesome cocktails and hospitable staff, too. and probably against our body’s better judgement (it was totally with our mind’s better judgement), and even after consuming a handful of filling menu items already, we rallied, pleaded with our stomachs to find an empty reserve, and ordered the restaurant’s signature tableside s’mores (oh you know, in addition to the two other dessert dishes the chef insisted that we tried -oh FINE, twist our arms, why don’t you). and in a matter of minutes, the below photo is exactly what found its way to our table.

i may never have to camp again.

i mean, how adorable is that? a lazy susan complete with all of the fixings and your own personal cast-iron stove right at your fingertips. it really doesn’t get much better than that now does it? it’s basically all the fun of camping, without, you know, the camping (so basically perfect for someone like me).

and like i said, against better judgement in a multitude of areas, i proceeded to hand-craft the most perfect confectionery creation, waved a temporary goodbye to my gluten and dairy tolerances (as i do most times while enjoying one of these comp’ed meals), and savored every sweet, sticky, and creamy bite.

and then promptly repeated said steps three more times.

and boy did i pay for that gluttonance (just made that a word) later with a stomach-ache the size of france. but i suppose that’s the payoff for an evening of devouring downright sinful cuisine.

but everything in moderation, i suppose.

and well, if anything, i can simply justify that i was merely practicing my s’mores assembling abilities for that pending camping trip (even if that camping trip doesn’t happen for say another nine months or so).

because we all know, practice makes perfect. and with the odds stacked against me already with regards to my apparent rejection of nature on the whole, i’m going to need some redeeming quality to solidify my spot amongst the camping group. also, i’m totally adding “s’mores savant” to my resume. you never know when those skills may be needed.

double also (and i promise i’m done after this), y’all should really go to The Duck Dive. did i mention they have really good s’mores?

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