i love children. seriously, some may even call me a baby-whisperer. i’m that lady in the trader joe’s check-out line making faces at your toddler as he stares in wonderment chewing on his sophie the giraffe. i stop other mothers out in front of h&m to tell them how adorable their little girl is when she’s dressed as her mother’s mini-me, complete with black leggings and top knot. i just love little humans and everything they represent. and seeing as most of my friends have far-surpassed the “getting hitched” stage and are now “producing life” stage, it’s been all about the miniature diaper-wearers lately. and i’m not gonna lie, i’m getting pretty darn good at purchasing some adorable tiny-people-appropriate garb (though i want boys, girls are seriously so much more fun to shop for, one word: tutus).

a few weeks ago, i had the pleasure of attending a friend’s baby shower. if you haven’t yet been to a shower of this variety, we don’t actually throw water on newborns, rather, we tell the momma-to-be that she’s positively “glowing,” ooh and ahh as she opens gifts, eat tiny-sized snack foods, and play games. and by games i don’t mean scrabble and connect four, i mean we see how fast we can chug apple juice from a baby bottle and or, as i was lucky enough to participate in, how quickly we can undress and redress a baby. 

and unbeknownst to me, as i tried so desperately to perform a speedy outfit change on a baby doll (luckily it wasn’t the real thing seeing as i was manhandling the poor thing) , this gem was snapped -perfectly showcasing just how serious i take baby shower games.

unfortunately, while my game face may have been in full-effect, i was far from victorious in the endeavor. in fact, out of three contestants, i placed third.

i can only hope and pray that when it’s my time to perform outfit changing on my own child, i will not only be a bit more gentle with my approach, but also, that i won’t look so confused.

i mean, i grew up with barbies and cabbage patch kids, i should know how to redress dolls in my sleep.

so if any of you with newborns want to lend them to me for an afternoon, i could really use some practice. i mean, clearly i handle children well (yes, that is my giant hand around the poor child’s neck/clavicle region).