so we all know the story of goldilocks and the three bears, right? a little toe-head breaks into the bear family home only to eat all of their porridge and sleep in their beds. i mean, if we really stop and think about it, this tale from childhood is really quite creepy. but let’s pretend it’s not not socially acceptable to trespass into strangers’ homes and eat their breakfast cereal and take naps in their boudoirs.
because i kind of think dating is a lot like what miss goldie experienced when she trial-and-error-ed her way into finding the perfect temperature porridge and perfectly sized bed. she had to try out the “too somethings” in order to find her “just right.”
i’ve dated my fair share of “too somethings.” there were the ones who gave me too much attention (i know, woe is me) and whose abundance of compliments almost deemed them disingenuous as a result. i’ve dated the ones who looked to me to be too much of their happiness -the ones that put me on a pedestal so high that the only place i had to fall was 20-stories down.
on the contrary, i’ve dated others who’ve been too absent -emotionally and physically, too aloof, too, for lack of a better term, unappreciative. the ones that i bent over backwards trying to please and the ones who took pieces of me that i will never truly regain.
and i’ve certainly dated a few dozen gents that fall somewhere in between.
but while most of life seems to be lived in the two opposing spectrums -too this or too that, i think in love, we’re all just trying to find the one that lies somewhere in the middle. the just right guy. the one that combines perfectly the best parts of either side -the one that is never without an encouraging word, but who is mindful of his compliments -doling them out in appropriate number and customization. the one who makes you a priority but who doesn’t monopolize all of your time. the one that doesn’t come to complete your life but to compliment it instead.
and while it might be nice to simply happen upon the just right guy without having to test out the too thises or too thats, i’m learning that that is not really how this whole dating thing works. you have to play goldilocks and taste test the too hot porridges and the too cold porridges, sleep in the too hard beds and the too soft beds (proverbially speaking of course), too. sometimes in order to come to the conclusion of what you do want, you have to first figure out what you don’t.
so perhaps playing goldilocks (or as my mother just so playfully coined me –gingerlocks) for a few more days/weeks/months/years(gulp) is what God has in store for me. maybe i’ll experience a few more too thises or too thats before i finally find my just right. but i think i’m okay with that. because with each passing this and that i’m learning. learning when to speak up and when to wait patiently, when to think less and when to pray more. when to let go and when to hold back.
and most importantly, i’m learning that settling for anything less than just right is about as silly as breaking into a house owned by bears, eating all of their porridge, and falling asleep in one of their beds.
see also: very silly.