there is a totally finite amount of time and energy that each of us have to give to the people in our lives. you can give yours to your home team. or you can spend it haphazardly on an odd collection of people who need something from you, largely because you don’t want to say no and risk what might happen if you do that. this is a terrible reason to be friends with someone, because it’s a ticking time bomb of resentment and codependence.
this is the thing: the home team concept for me is not all about getting myself out of the doghouse with a whole bunch of people who need something from me. it’s about making sure that the people who deserve my energy and love and attention get it before it’s sucked up by people who have their own home teams.
“the home team” | page 189 | shauna niequist | bittersweet0