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i recently had a thought. [shocker] it was about break-ups and the inevitable pain that arises on the tail end of them. some more severe than others, but discomfort nonetheless. and while the gleaned lesson may be difficult to see in the eye of the storm, it’s amazing what perspective we gain in the aftermath. we come out stronger, better, more self-aware, and seasoned. we’re not the same person as we were before the heartache. and we sure as heck shouldn’t be. we’ve earned the transformation into someone new. this version 2.0 of ourselves. and while the life experience we’ve gained and added to our resume acts as a badge of honor reluctantly worn, maybe those lessons weren’t so self-serving in purpose. maybe those wounds of love lost serve to fulfill a bigger purpose.

lord knows (and most of you know as well) i’ve endured my fair share of heartbreaks in my tenure in the dating world. and while i would gladly erase my past tears and toil, i’m finding more and more that perhaps my own biography serves more than just me. maybe the pain we feel or endure or work through isn’t made only for us. maybe it’s not just a sharpening and refining tool for our own lives. maybe it’s a gift we can give to others, too. the gift isn’t the actual pain, obviously, rather, the gift is in the insight and empathy we’re able to offer once we’ve experienced it ourselves. we give the gift of understanding. the gift of “trust me, i know exactly how you feel.” the gift that allows the person on the other end of the table, the phone line, or computer screen to not feel so alone. your pain becomes a unifying agent that binds you together.

so maybe the things we go through aren’t only for our own good. maybe there’s a bigger purpose for the heartache (thank goodness!). maybe your own experiences aren’t simply for your individual journey, but to help influence another’s journey, too. and while the realization that your pain can, in fact, be used for the good of another doesn’t make the initial heartbreak any less agonizing, i can’t help but feel that the camaraderie shared makes finding the silver lining not such an impossible task.



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