there’s a quote that reads, “don’t look back, you’re not going that way.” and i mean, i understand its premise. life lived looking over your shoulder will, for one, cause a lot of unnecessary injuries, but more importantly will prevent you from focusing on your present and future. but i can’t say that a complete disregard of your past experiences and even of your former self is wise either. i think it’s possible for them to co-exist. in fact, i’m fairly certain that in some ways, they are contingent upon each other. hopefully the experiences of your past influence the direction of your future. that you are better, wiser, and more evolved as a result of the lessons learned from your life’s previous chapters. and while there are certainly specific excerpts that i would gladly tear out of my personal novel, without them, my life would be incomplete. the me i am today is a direct result of the choices made one, ten, a hundred and ten days ago. so therefore, the 2013 version could not have come to be without the 2012 version or the 2011 version or even the 2001 version (complete with white fluorescent eye-shadow).
so today i am thankful for my past. for the hardships and heartbreaks and for every lesson learned in the process. i am thankful for how the past has encouraged me to make changes and to stop cycles and to end patterns (even if it’s taken a few tries in order to make them stick, whoopsies). i am thankful for where i come from and for how each little tale of brokenness and failure not only enhances my story, my further evidences God’s providence and grace. i am thankful that each chapter has a place and purpose and that every broken road (cue rascal flatts song) has led me here to this exact moment in time.
because even on my worst day, this exact moment in time is a wonderful place to be.