i ask a lot of questions. maybe it’s because i’m kind of nosy? i mean, i prefer “curious” but tomay-to tomah-to. but in reality, i think it might be because i’m just really uncomfortable with those awkward silences that occur in the middle of conversations (known as the seven-minute lull). i figure if i keep firing inquiries your way, we can avoid that whole lull business once and for all. plus, let’s be honest, who doesn’t like talking about themselves? i’ll answer that -no one. come on, the whole reason i have a blog is so i can talk about myself incessantly. just kidding, but am i really?

moving on before you can answer that.

anyway, throughout my seasoned dating career, i have come to appreciate the art of good conversation. i used to want you to just sit across from me, look handsome, and tell me i’m pretty. i mean, i still want you to do that, clearly, but in my older age, i’ve realized that while a ryan gosling doppelganger is really nice to oggle over a caesar salad and a cocktail, even that gets old after 20 minutes. okay, maybe 30. simply put, i’m gonna need you to chat me up. use your noggin. engage me (not get engaged to me, though that’s cool too, but just not until at least the third date. KIDDING. the fourth). we don’t have to discuss aristotle or shakespeare or even current events, we can start small, like the state of the kardashian-odom marriage or whether or not you think a tomato is a fruit or vegetable. i still say vegetable, but am willing to hear your thoughts.

when we were up at the lake a few weeks back showering our bride-to-be with barely-there ensembles from miss vicky and taking in the glory that is lake life, i got to talking with one of the girls about the first date she ever had with her now husband. she mentioned that one of the things she had been impressed by was the fact that he had asked really great questions -questions that had kept conversation flowing all night long. already impressed by his knack for inquiry, i asked her to give me some examples of the types of questions he had asked. (i also asked her if he had a brother or really great friend that asks good questions as well). that’s when she told me about the 10 famous questions. 10 famous questions? and then i remembered. what she was referring to was the sequence of inquiries that james lipton of inside of the actors studio fame asks of each of his guests at the end of their interview.

wow, i thought. and “wow,” i said out loud, too. my hat went off to him. what a clever and interesting way to get to know someone. while most answers to questions tend to reveal a lot about the person of which they are posed (i suppose that’s the point of a question, right?), this particular series of questions would certainly reveal a lot more. and furthermore, the answers could even springboard to a myriad of topics -in truth, guaranteeing the conversation would continue well past drinks and dinner but into dessert and after-dinner libations as well.

again, i thought, well played.

the questions are as follows:
1. what is your favorite word?
2. what is your least favorite word?
3. what turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
4. what turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
5. what sound or noise do you love?
6. what sound or noise do you hate?
7. what is your favorite curse word?
8. what profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
9. what profession would you not like to do?
10. if Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

sure you’d have to be careful with number 7, but for the most part, i would love to ask any number of my friends, family and co-workers these questions, let alone a potential mate. heck, i’d love to ask myself these questions. so that’s what i’m going to do.

ready self? (yep, i’m ready)

1. what is your favorite word?

it’s a tie between juxtaposition and smitten (pronounced with a hard “t”).

2. what is your least favorite word?

i’m going to spell it -em-oh-eye-ess-tee. (shivers)

3. what turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

pure unadulterated passion (it can be for a person, a place, a thing, an occupation, etc.) and a genuine regard for others. also, witnessing a dad (or pretty much any man) doting on a baby (ovaries = exploding).

4. what turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

apathy and rude people.

5. what sound or noise do you love?

babies laughing and the sound that a metal bat makes when it connects with a baseball.

6. what sound or noise do you hate?

nails on a chalkboard and the human cough. i get really annoyed when people have to cough. did i mention that i’m the worst?

7. what is your favorite curse word?

ummm, should i just plead the fifth? i think it might be safer to do so (hi mom & grandma!). if you really want to know, you can email me and i’ll share it privately. but whatever, you know i don’t use filthy language anyway (that’s not true at all, i have developed quite the potty mouth, i blame my co-workers).

8. what profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

isn’t it obvious? a celebrity. and yes, that’s a “profession.” fine, if we’re really being serious, i think i would really love being a teacher. fourth grade, because it’s the best (hello? gold rush, missions, state reports, oh my!). i don’t want to toot my own horn, but toot toot -let’s just say my stuffed animals are very well educated thanks to my countless hours of playing “school” in my youth. and if i wasn’t a teacher then most definitely a synchronized swimmer -i even have my “stage” name -cory meadows (p.s. she wins the gold every time).

9. what profession other than your own would you not like to attempt?

anything with numbers. i mean, i passed math in high school and even that weird math class in college where the book was just a bunch of word problems, but as far as accounting and excel spreadsheets and formulas and figuring out the tip at the end of a meal goes, i usually just try to pawn that stuff off on other people. lucky for me, i have a lot of numbery-minded friends/family. i write words and talk about feelings, i leave the other-side-of-the-brain stuff for people who have a true passion for it. oh and considering my fear of breaching whales, i think being a boat captain sounds terrible.

and finally, 10. if Heaven exists (which i believe it does, thank goodness) what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

i think i’d really love to hear Him say -“thanks for loving on people so much while you were down there. oh and don’t worry, in Heaven, there are zero bad hair days and we have an unlimited supply of almond butter.”

maybe you find answering questions (or even asking them) kind of a drag. i know i hate answering questions on those medical forms you have to fill out when you’re seeing a new doctor for the first time (for the last time i’m not on any medication and i haven’t had any major surgery since i was two-years-old, please stop asking me that!), but never underestimate the power of good conversation. we’re getting older (despite the fact i’m constantly convincing people that i’m not a senior in high school) and we’re not going to get by on our looks and hot bods for much longer. i mean, with botox and spanx, we probably have a few more good years, but you know what i mean. while i’d like to think that the ability to engage in good conversation is something that we perfect somewhere between childhood and college, turns out, small talk is kind of a learned art. i know i’ve struggled with it over the years. but i think if we just start small (where did you grow up? did you play sports as a child? do you know how to complete this sentence -“clear eyes, full hearts, ______?) and smile (people are WAY more apt to talk to you if you’re smiling, it’s just a fact), we’ll be blown away with the result. and if you’re on a date with someone (“someone” being me, though i just realized i made this a moot idea by already answering them above), i highly suggest pulling james lipton’s ten questions out of your back pocket if and when the conversation hits a lull. i feel as though it might score you some major brownie points.

just be careful with number seven.

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