things that i am thankful for: friends and family who refrain from judgement and/or derogatory comments if when i inevitably ask a seemingly ridiculous question. (see also: google)

take for instance last night. as i drove home from dinner with dear friends, i called my mom to chat (don’t worry, i was using my blue tooth). and as we discussed the noteworthy moments of our respective wednesdays, i began to lament. no, not about the fact that my day had been stressful (it hadn’t, it was actually quite lovely) or that i wished the weekend would hurry up and get here already (okay, so maybe i did think that in my head, but i didn’t express it in this particular exchange). rather, i began to whine about the fact that tomorrow was trash day and upon arriving home, i would have to drag both the trash and recyclable receptacles out to their designated spot along the curb so their contents could be disposed of come morning.

now i don’t know about you, but i find “taking the trash barrels out” ranks high amongst the most annoying chores associated with home ownership. yes, yes, that whole having a mortgage part is no picnic either, but sometimes, after a long day and all i want to do is get inside, take a shower, slip into jammies and enjoy my roasted veggies whilst catching up on the latest episode of parenthood without the inconvenience of pausing to roll those cumbersome bins out from their home in the garage and onto the street. i realize the whole endeavor takes –at most– 45 seconds, but remember how we weren’t going to judge me? oh, hmm, you don’t remember making that promise? well fine, judge me. i’m judging me, too.

so in relaying my distain for this obligation to sanitation, i began to think. what if i just didn’t take my trash out tonight? what if i said, you know what trash man, i’ve got NOTHING for ya this week?

would there be consequences? of that i honestly wasn’t sure.

i promise, i have both a high school and college degree but on occasion having book knowledge doesn’t always translate to common sense.

so to ensure that my rebellious act (yes, this classifies as rebellious in my book, and if it doesn’t in yours, well, i’ll get you a copy of my version) wasn’t so rebellious that it may warrant some kind of monetary fine or permanent mark on my edco waste management record (which i can only imagine is pristine given that i am the upstanding citizen that i am), i earnestly inquired the following of my mother.

“wait, will i get in trouble if i don’t put my trash barrels out?”

and bless her heart, she didn’t laught too hard while providing her response.

“no honey, you can’t get in trouble for not taking out your trash. if you don’t have any, you can certainly skip a week.”

and sure, while i didn’t have much of anything but a few rogue pieces of used floss (ew) and empty toilet paper rolls swirling around those nearly empty bins, the real reasoning for my refusal to relocate the receptacles was well, sheer laziness.

but for all intents and purposes, let’s just say that the justification for why my trash barrels are not curbside this afternoon is the fact that this past week’s activities simply did not warrant enough waste to necessitate its proper disposal.

and now having realized that i have spent far too long composing sentences riddled with alliteration about TRASH of all things, i will get to my eventual point.

that though i may kill it watching the occasional episode of jeopardy and know the capitals of all 50 states (toot too goes my own horn), there are certainly matters, “street smarts” if you will, that i am simply not privy to. and for that, i am thankful for my family members (and for friends, too) who refrain from (too much) laughter when i pose “did you really just ask that”-kind of questions.

and if they can’t help me, well, thank goodness for google.