for those who haven’t visited my humble abode (i’m sorry i’ve been a terrible hostess, now that i have furniture in my guest room, i would love for you to come visit!), you may not be familiar with the fact that i live on the third story. in a condominium that was not equipped with central air.

now you may be thinking to yourself, “self, why would she a) need to tell me that she lives on the third story (is she bragging that her house has three stories? if so, that’s kind of pretentious) and b) does her house even need air at all, she lives in san diego where the weather is always sunny and 72-degrees?” and if you were in fact thinking this, i mean, looks like you’re a pretty good thinker.

but the reason i note the location of my bedroom is to remind you of the fact that heat tends to rise (see, i do remember something from 7th grade science class) and therefore, on any given summer day, my boudouir is the hottest room in the house (there’s no pun there, if you’re looking for one). secondly, while you may think that san diego homes have no use for air conditioning, think again. if you live anywhere east of the 5, your lack of marine layer accounts for some pretty toasty temps come july (and then parts of november and december, i blame global warming for that whole indian summer thing).

and i get it, my version of unbearable heat is certainly relative. i’ve been to savannah in june and even before the real peak of summer hit was i complaining that my i no longer could find where my leg ended and my ankle began and my fingers were no longer fingers but rather ten little vienna sausages. so i understand that even though my thermostat reads close to 90 INSIDE, i should still count my lucky stars that i can drive 12 minutes to the beach, feel and ocean breeze run across my face and dry the sweat that has accumulated on my brow (and back). but, y’all. hot is hot. and when you’re trying to catch a few zzz’s, hot hinders that from happening.

for a majority of the summer, living without air conditioning isn’t such a travesty. i mean, the entire month of june i’m more apt to turn on the heat than the ceiling fan with the presence of june gloom and everything. but all it takes is one scorching week in august where i all but walk into an 1100 square foot furnace for me to curse my inland-living ways. and so for that reason, this summer, i will be more than prepared with my new(ish) handy-dandy-window air conditioning unit. yes, Lord bless my pops and the find people of target for providing me with this baby. it has found its home in one of my bedroom windows and has already earned its keep in providing a month’s worth of drift-comfortably-off-to-dreamland evenings.

now my sdg&e bill may or may not be 23905274689276 million dollars by summer’s end, but man oh man, will it be worth it. if nothing else than to keep the whole passing out from heat exhaustion while blow drying my hair thing at bay. because come late august, i’m just really looking forward to not having to sleep with bags of ice to make it through the night. i’m not gonna lie, waking up in a puddle of water (after the ice has melted) is a bit unnerving in a “please tell me there’s a logical explanation for this and i didn’t just have an accident” kind of way.

so stay cool, kids. and i’ll do the same in my heat-rises third story bedroom with my blessed blessed air conditioning unit.

and if the air conditioning unit ever brakes, i’ll just take a cue from this little guy…