so after GOOP invented a euphemism for divorce by coining it “consciously uncoupling,” when addressing her recent split from long-time husband chris martin, the geniuses at slate.com had a little fun with it. following the success of their “adele dazeem name generator” (on the heels of john travolta’s royal butchering of idina menzel’s name at this year’s academy awards), they created a tool to “goop-ify your love life.”
curious to see how gwenyth might describe your current relationship status? follow this link, fill in the respective fields, and submit. it’s pretty entertaining. i made my parents do it while i was over at their house on sunday and their generated status came up as “mindfully interlaced.” adorable.
as for me?
i’m “spiritually decoupled.”
so from now on when anyone asks if i’m single, i’ll simply correct them with, “well, yes, but i’d prefer spiritually decoupled.”