relationships are funny, i think. and i’m not just talking about the kind that involve a candle-lit dinner and a kiss on the cheek -i’m talking about friendships, and bonds shared with family, and well, of course, the romantical kind, too (hi, this is shawnaleeann.com we’re talking about, duh). i’m talking about the ones you thought you lost but then somehow regained or the ones you held onto with fervor and white knuckles until the day of reckoning when you realized that vice grip was only causing a hand cramp and not much more.

then there are the new ones -the exciting ones that keep you guessing and smiling and make you feel emotions you thought were long since dead. and the ones whose consistency makes you believe that despite even the most dire of circumstances, your community, your “people” will always be there to remind you of your old self no matter how severe the fall. and most certainly the ones that have withstood the tests of time, distance and circumstance.

i’m finding what a gift each one of these types of relationships has been and continues to be. some have made me stronger (sing it, kelly clarkson) while some have managed to sneak off with a portion of me after their demise. some have made me feel like the best possible version of myself and yet, others have made me reconsider everything. some have provided belly laughs and hours of internet perusal while some have caused me to invest in moments of self-reflection and logged prayer on my knees.

but life is about taking the good with the bad and the joyful along with the sad (sam, i am). even if i were to be spared the arduous bonds that have plagued my past, i would feel incomplete somehow, as if their presence in my life was not only necessary for propelling me forward, but more importantly, shaping me in the interim.

these past few weeks (well done, 2013, you’ve certainly made your presence known) have been filled with nearly all of the above-listed types of relationships, which let me tell you, has made for some interesting days in the life of yours truly. but regardless of this relationship roller coaster ride of which i’ve seemed to have scored myself an unlimited pass, i have realized that with each encounter, and each reconciliation of the relationship at hand, every last one has boasted a beauty that any one tangible thing will never do. and for that i’m thankful.

i am continually amazed by the beauty that emerges from the ashes of my past and how, like a phoenix, it has risen out of some of the most difficult of situations. and then suddenly, it’s almost as if the past has been deleted and the slate wiped clean.

so to those who have found a resurged presence in my life, i say, welcome back. for those who have been let go for a time, i say, it’s not you, it’s me and there may come a day for a second chance.

and finally for those who have been there come heck or high water, i say, thank you. thank you for your patience and your steadfastness and for your ability to bring a smile to my face and an encouraging word to my heart.