i love a good hat. not only are they essential to amend a less than stellar hair day, but they protect you from the elements (you will not frizz me, foggy day!), and well, they keep your head warm, too.

also, if i may be so bold as to say, i think i look pretty fetch in them, as well. and for all of these reasons and more, i adorn my over-sized dome with one from my ever-growing collection every time i don’t want to wash my hair chance i get. i mean, the evidence speaks for itself:

fedora.

flower-adorned conductor hat.

baseball cap.

cloche.

bucket hat (also, hi momma!)

graduation cap.

okay so the last one was only a one-time thing. but you get what i mean.

hats, i love them. and they seem to love me, too.

well actually, that’s not entirely true. there is indeed one type of chapeau that i simply cannot sport in full confidence. and that my friends would be the humble beanie.

no matter how hard i try (and believe me, i’ve tried on many an urban outfitter knit version), i always end up looking like a mushroom -think more button, less portabella. but despite resembling a fungi, there is nothing fun about it. i see some of my closest (and stylish) friends rocking crocheted head socks like it ain’t no thang, looking every bit the poster-child for hipsters everywhere (i’m looking at you, lovelylittlesweetpeas). and i think, my goodness, why can’t that be me?

and only adding insult to injury is this image that i found during an early morning pin-sesh:

i mean, hi, perfect beanie-wearing goddess. may i please have your hair, too? why is it that she can sport this so effortlessly and yet if i tried to slip that knit atop my redheaded dome, i can guarantee you that no one would be repinning that photo (i probably wouldn’t even make it to the whole taking a photo in order to pin stage  anyway, it would be that bad).

i will say that last year and on a whim, i purchased a purple flower adorned beanie off of forever 21’s website. and when it came and i was finally able to try it on, i must say, i didn’t hate what i saw staring back at me in the mirror. but then, i kid you not, after only a handful of minutes upon my head did it slowly start to creep up back over my ears, finally settling somewhere just atop my head.

in other words, it was basically hanging on for dear life.

and in that moment i think i realized that my head is just too large (and maybe my hair too slippery/thick) to wear beanies. despite pulling it down snuggly below my lobes, if i so much as clench my jaw, up it floats above my browline again.

and that’s precisely what it did the ENTIRE time when i wore it to last year’s chargers vs. ravens game (one that we, i might add, actually WON) at the end of the season:

the first and only time i’ve worn this beanie (also, hi tops!).

and accordingly, i haven’t worn it since.

sometimes in fashion, you just have to learn what works and what doesn’t, too. while i think i’ve perfected the art of mixing unexpected colors and patterns, i still have yet to master the beanie.

and maybe i never will.

and that’s okay, because i think i’ve got enough hats in my closet for now.