anything not everything

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image via: sugar & cloth.

image via: sugar & cloth.

 

if this season of life is teaching me anything, well, it’s teaching me a lot of things now that i come to think about it, but perhaps one of the biggest lessons i’ve gleaned is the concept of my own humanity. this whole reconciliation of not being superwoman and the realization that despite my best efforts, i simply cannot do it all.

and it’s a hard realization, y’all. not because i think i’m worthy of a spandex leotard and cape (isn’t that what superwoman wears?), but because i hate feeling as though i can’t commit myself to everything that intersects my path -and that in not having the time or resources or energy or a combination of all three might result in letting down someone i love.

and the guilt is enough to eat me alive.

but i’ve been reminded lately that there is reprieve in accepting your own limitations. and while you can’t control how many hours there are in a day or days in a week or weeks in a year, you do have the choice of how you allocate your time. to only the things that you know you can give 110%.

so for the first time in a maybe a long time i’m really focusing on quality over quantity. no longer counting my commitments, but making my commitments count. i’ve given my myself permission to use the word “no.” not because the desire isn’t there, but because doing anything half-a$@ed just isn’t my style. i want, and for the other parties involved as well, to know that my yes really means yes. and when i’m in, i’m all in.

 

2 Comments
  • Andrea Culver
    September 10, 2014

    Congratulations on coming to this realization in your 20’s, I am still having a hard time with it. I would love a cape though and a magic carpet. The carpet is just for fun!

  • Aunt Teresa
    September 11, 2014

    Ha… this is great. Your moms comments ring true (and I can see her atop a flying carpet zipping around). Start practicing that mantra because when you have kids, the thought: “I have to do it all (and then some)” is like a monkey on your back – a BIG, strong, taunting monkey. BAD monkey.

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